Get To See Larry Before He Is Gone
 
Comments Cont...
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Wow, this is scary interesting. The real scary thing is that this is endorsed by the 'Burning Man Project'. What do they really hope to achieve by creating this toll road? I see a potential for a few things if this comes into creation.
   
  1) Increased Traffic - I believe (though can't confirm) that the main thing that the Gerlach and Empire residents complain about the most is the increased traffic on NV440 during Burning Man. This toll road will only increase the traffic by creating a stopping point and bottle-neck (four or two lanes turning into one).
   
  2) Police Involvement - We've all seen the increased law enforcement presence on NV440 during Burning Man, pulling people over for going five miles over the speed limit (not always, but it's been reported). This gives law enforcement an opportunity to discover 'probable cause' and initiate a search. I would not be surprised to see an increased law enforcement presence at this proposed toll booth. Coronado Bay Bridge used to have a toll booth on Coronado, which has since been closed. The building located there is still used as a hub for local law enforcement and CHP.
   
  3) Funding - The financial plan of the toll roads seems a little strange. It plans on giving .63 to residents per vehicle. I'm going to work from estimates right now. 49,599 people attended Burning Man last year. The occupants of a vehicle vary from people flying solo to entire buses full of people. So, to average it out, I'm going to say that two people where in each vehicle. That leaves 24,799 vehicles and approximately $17k supposedly going to the citizens of Gerlach and Empire. The population of Gerlach-Empire is 499 as of the 2000 Census. That is about $35 per citizen per year.
   
I see there’s a wonderful offer for power this year.  It indicates that its only for theme camps.  I imagine that’s because you’ll know in advance where the camps will be and can run the line accordingly.  No opportunities for us non-theme campers?
   
 Scotto, It gets better every year. Lots of laughs courtesy of SBS.
   
Dear Playapharm - I am graduating with my doctorate in pharmacy in May, and will be a licensed pharmacist at the playa (theme camp TBA).    I would love to help out at playapharm...please let me know what I can do...
   
Playa Pharm is total bullshit, Scott.  Why are you promoting and SALES site?  What the fuck does an "on-playa pharmacy" have to do with Burning Man?
   
I'd be interested in reading your response remembering, of course, that the whole philosophy of Burning Man is NO SALES.  Yeah, I get that they supposedly won't be taking $$ on playa (they better not, or their camp will be burned to the ground) but it is the same thing if they are taking orders on playa and delivering there as well, which they are.  Waiting for Your Response.
   
  I am sending you a response to your very poignant message about PlayaPharm.  We take all inquiries and comments very seriously.  The real issue here is that you may be, no you are unaware that today is April Fool's  - The best part of today is....I GOT YOU!!!! - You sure did, brother.  Hook Line and Sinker.
   
Awesome.  It took me all day to figure out that this was an April fools joke!
   
Larry should visit Pleasure Garden 09 because we will shelter him under the geometrEL dome, give him powdered lemonade (you know, with ice and water mixed in) and put sunscreen on his body.  Although our women are mostly in their 20's, they still act like they're 19, so he should almost feel like he's in his own motorhome.  Besides, if he visits us, we can shit in his hat.
   
HAHAHAHAHA  you had me for a while
   
This toll road sounds dumb. 0.69 out of $20 goes to the local community? Really?
   
I like the business loop thing better. I'd rather give the whole of my $20 to Bruno's and another $20 to the general store. sheeeeit.
   
Now if they offered hot showers at the end with a foot massage (with optional happy ending) ... and a carwash... all for the $20, then it would be worth it.
   
Seriously though - what would really rock would be to have a temporary station and a have the bus camp folks run a shuttle service to camps.
   
The railway line runs through the playa...   That could seriously reduce the number of cars and make it relatively inexpensive to transport all your shite to the playa in a pretty green manner.  Of course the line for buses would be pretty horrendous on Sunday/Monday :) 
   
Great... I did all that math and I STILL didn't get the joke. I need a vacation, I'm taking things way to serious...
   
Thanks ,Scotto . Always a pleasure to hear from you on this day .
   
For Christ sake! Talk about your pork projects! All this for three weeks out of the year? The folks in Gerlach and Empire bitch and moan, but the three weeks of Burning man makes their businesses viable. What a waste...
   
Dear Sir Jim of Bob - This is a brief transatlantic message to say thanks for brightening an otherwise pretty disastrous week with your skillfully-crafted 'win a Larry visit' invitation of two days ago. I had begun to complete your exquisitely unspeakable form, abandoning it in exasperation before page 2 and before I noticed the date. And then I laughed with joy. I was actually relishing the prospect of submitting an impossible-to- resist application including (of course) a story of exactly 3,845 words. The process fitted my desire to stimulate heated political debate about the relationship of news media to the State amongst my colleagues on the Black Rock Beacon, so I'm sorry it's a wind-up. But I guess I can still use your stuff to further my cunning plan. I haven't checked out all the contents of your website, but so far I'm deeply impressed. As the author of a modest portfolio of spoofs, I salute you. all the best from London, UK,
   
You never fail to fool on April 1! I love the stuff you posted, especially this one! Hilarious!
   
Oh, so I can bring my dog but not my cat? That's fair. I think we're lacking a bit in equality here... Might want to round up the theme camp leaders for that task. They tend to excel at cat herding.
   
I love this one too! My fave will always be the port-o prepaid cards...people were upset at town hall and grumbling about it. Love u Scotto
   
Good job as always Scotto!
   
will you carry c-II as well or not; I'm on opioids for chronic pain, and have valid rxs but hate bringing that much stuff with me; is it possible to get it from you with enough notice; duragesic 100mcg #5.
   
Those are funny as hell Scotto, you outdid yourself! I think the win a visit w/Larry is too funny.
   
Over the top Scotto!
   
April Fools Day rocks.
   
My first thought this morning when I woke up was--O goody I wonder what Scotto has done. Thanks so much for keeping the important days alive.
   
This is horrible. These kind of changes signify the end of Burning Man as I have loved it.
   
Haha - I know these are prank sites but some of them are pretty good ideas!  I would love to take home the gold in the BRC Olympics.  Glad to see that you are keeping the tradition alive. 
   
   

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